Our Afghanistan Veterans Feel Some Type of Way
For a fighting force accustomed to winning, this loss hurts.
While Tucker Carlson, Anderson Cooper and many other talking heads on both sides of the political spectrum were dissecting the debacle that has occurred in Afghanistan over the last few weeks, I noticed some characteristic trends among my fellow veterans and active military service members. Through emotional social media posts sprinkled with political blame shifting and what-about-isms, I could see through the politicized nature of the posts and recognized fear, anger and anxiety. These are but a few of the characteristics of trauma.
Some reacted angrily. They’ve devoted large portions of their lives to the cause of liberating Afghanistan from Taliban control only to watch on television as the last 20 years of long deployments, missed holidays, birthdays and even the missed deaths of loved ones were rendered pointless. A ridiculous waste of time that can never be compensated. We were told that our sacrifices would make a difference, but what difference did it make if the same people that we rested control of the country from marched in the day after we left to reclaim it? Leaving many feeling that they’ve sacrificed so much, with so many losing everything, for nothing.
Some were re-traumatized by the loss of friends and family. Any service member that loses a brother or sister in arms is usually reminded of that loss on a couple occasions every year. However, when that brother or sister is lost in the support of a national cause, you want that cause to be a success. If for no other reason, to justify the loss. It’s what the family of that brother or sister deserves and what the unit, which becomes an extended family for most deployed individuals, expects. Turning that loss into an eventual victory for the nation’s cause serves as a salve for the pain of losing someone you come to care about. On the other hand, to see the situation in Afghanistan devolve like this can compound that sense of loss.
Others are afraid for friends that remain. Spending a significant time in another country, you’re bound to make a lasting impression on someone indigenous to the region and someone will do the same to you. This is no different for our veterans. When we leave a theatre a piece of us stays there, and when that world begins to fall apart it is natural for us to be fearful of what may happen to the people that are still there. The Taliban’s track record on dissenters in general and women’s rights specifically should have the whole western world on alert. But for those that have witnessed the progress of the last 20 years in that region first hand, it can be particularly worrisome what now awaits the benefactors of that progress.
Lastly, some see history repeating itself. Veterans of the Vietnam War have seen this movie before. America sends a fighting force with superior technology into harsh terrain to fight an enemy with emotional and cultural attachment to the land and end up mired in a conflict that loses support at home due to a short attention span and no concrete exit strategy outside of complete victory. The images of helicopters leaving embassies cements the similarities in our failed strategies and hammers home the reality that this was not a win, but will be seen as another loss and a foreign policy black-eye. These veterans know all too well how service members who have served in Afghanistan are feeling this week.
All of these responses are valid. We have to understand that for our military men and women, significant portions of their adult lives have been spent either fighting in or supporting the fight in Afghanistan. To see it end this way is going to be painful. Sometimes, when we feel loss we look for a fight we can win. Maybe this is what we’re seeing on our collective social media feeds this week. However, this is not a time to use social media as a cudgel or to play political told-ya-so. This is a time to let our fellow veterans know that we see them. That we’re here for them and that we are here with them. Call your buddies, ask them how they’re holding up, if they need to talk about anything and most importantly, listen. Chances are we’re all responding to this from an emotional place and could all use some space to feel what we need to feel and to come to grips with the fact that we’ve sacrificed a lot of ourselves in pursuit of a goal that didn’t materialize the way we hoped it would.
